


It's Screwy, But I Think It Can Work

by BatchSan



Series: It's Not a Surprise [2]
Category: Victorious
Genre: Angst, Drama, Explicit Language, F/F, Femslash, Humor, Multi, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-12
Updated: 2012-05-12
Packaged: 2017-11-05 06:01:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/403189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BatchSan/pseuds/BatchSan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jade's POV. Cat and Jade's relationship is far from normal, but adding Tori into the mix doesn't help it any.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Proposal

**Author's Note:**

> My very first 10,000+ word fic! *so proud*
> 
> Originally posted it on FF.net. Now that it's done, I figured it would be a good idea to start crossposting it. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Tori's sitting against one of the green pillars that helped hold up the wooden bridge that Cat was giggling and running across. I let my eyes linger on the ruby haired girl for a moment as she carelessly ducked below the yellow plastic that kept kids from taking a header off the safety of the playset and slid down the slide with her arms high in the air. I felt my lips twinge in a smile but Tori looked up and ruined the moment for me. Schooling my features, I tried to keep face as I stepped close enough for both Tori and Cat to hear me. 

“Cat, what are we doing here?"

Seeing me for the first time, Cat grinned and ran up to me. For a moment, I thought she would throw herself on me and smother me in kisses but instead she stopped beside me, clasped her hands behind her back and rocked back and forth on the balls of her heels. Quirking my eyebrow, I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and waited for her to speak. The whole while, I tried to pretend Tori wasn't there.

“I was thinking..." Cat started, smiling as she trailed off.

Nothing for a long moment.

“You were thinking about what?" Tori finally said, breaking her silence with a brush of fingers through her hair.

I didn't stare. Okay, so I tried not to stare.

“Oh! Yeah! Well, I was thinking that it would be fun if there was three of us."

“Three of us?"

I narrowed my eyes at both Tori and Cat, but kept silent. Of course I knew what Cat meant, but Tori was clueless and I wasn't sure if I preferred it like that or not. The thing about Tori was that I hated her, and I liked her. And I definitely hated that I liked her. It was a paradoxical mindfuck that I had no idea how to handle so I slapped a _'I Hate You'_ label on it and kicked it into the back of my subconscious. If anything was that conflicting, then it was best ignored.

Cat almost seemed to be enjoying whatever face I was making, which made me think that maybe some of the sadistic bitch in me had finally managed to stain her. 

“Three of us?" Tori repeated, looking between Cat and I in confusion.

Collecting myself, I spared Tori the most briefest of glances. She was denser than a black hole sometimes, but kind of cute when frazzled, I hated to admit.

“Cat wants you to join in on our fuck sessions," I said curtly.

“Jade!" Cat gasped, her hands gesturing about her. "We're in a park."

“There's no kids around so I can say fuck as much I want. Fuck, fuck, fuck."

Cat's brown eyes went wide and she bit her lip, casting her head down. God, if I just pushed her buttons a little more right now, she would cry. I licked my lips at the thought, then remembered that Tori was there. Fuck.

Speaking of Tori, the aforementioned brunette was deathly silent where she still sat at on the ground. Taking a moment to really examine her, I couldn't help but notice she was actually a little pale. This was delightfully intriguing.

“Vega, you okay there?"

“Erm, I don't know. I could've sworn I heard you say that Cat wanted me to join you two guys..." her voice trailed off as she blushed.

“During our fuck sessions," I finished, earning a glance from Cat.

“Oh." Tori frowned and opened her mouth to say something but lapsed into an awkward silence.

“Why didn't you say something earlier?" I asked Cat, hand on my hip.

“But Jade, I did say something earlier. I said that I think it would be fun if there was three of us." Cat was honestly confused for a moment.

Inhale Jade. Inhale.

“I meant about wanting a threesome."

“Hee, oh," Cat tittered. "I figured I would just ask the both of you at the same time."

Of course. Basic Cat logic.

“Was I wrong?" Cat asked, suddenly aware that maybe she had done something wrong.

Was it wrong? I wasn't sure. What I did know for sure was that the news seemed to have traumatized Tori or something because she was still mute on the ground. Of course, there was a part of me that was honestly torn at the idea. As I mentioned before, I liked Tori, reluctantly, but it was there. She was pretty, and sexy at times, and sweet all the time – she was basically a brunette version of Cat, just with more commonsense and much more filter between her brain and mouth, sometimes. When it came to Cat on the other hand, and my unique fetish, I preferred the intimacy of one on one. Or, I should say, I've always been very happy to have the redhead all to myself. I'll admit it – I'm a greedy bitch. At the same time, a threesome was intriguing.

Yet, it was still all kind of weird, I just didn't know why.

“Dunno," I mumbled to Cat as I moved forward.

Stepping up to Tori, I kneeled before her, close enough to smell her perfume – some flowery scent that probably had a name Tori couldn't say – and stared into dark eyes that looked at me the way a mouse watched a cat. I grinned.

“What do you think, Vega?"

“I... Um..." She was scrambling for words, clearly lost.

“Why her, Cat?" I spoke up, not breaking eye contact with Tori.

“Because Tori's kind and she's our friend." Cat's voice was close to sickening sweet as she spoke.   
"And she's really cute!"

Blushing, Tori smiled lightly at Cat before returning her gaze -- definitely unsteady -- to me. Sometimes, Cat made really good points that were hard to argue, even if they aired out dirty laundry that people weren't ready to talk about yet. At this point, I was still uncertain as to what to think, so my plan was to go off of whatever Tori said. Surely she'll reject the whole idea and run home crying about the dykes that tried to turn her to their debauched side. 

Secretly though...

“Again, what do you think, Vega?"

“I think that... it's crazy."

Figures.

“But... I don't see the harm in experimenting a little," Tori added with a girly squeak as if horrified at what she was saying but was unable to stop the words from coming out. 

Now it was my turn to be surprised as the reality of what Tori just said dawned on me. Vega with a wild side? Could it be possible that little Miss Perfect was capable of going along with something so clearly not goody-goody? I bit my lip as I watched the blush on Tori's face deepen. This definitely could be very interesting.

“But, can we take things slow? I don't want to rush into anything," Tori said quickly, panic taking over her bravado.

“Of course!" Cat chirped. "This is going to be so much fun!"

I stood as Tori did and stepped back to allow Cat the space to leap at Tori and hug her tightly as I wondered what this meant in the long run. Surely this wasn't going to get very far. Mine and Cat's relationship centered around nothing more than fucking and control. 

The gentle lovemaking afterward was just... Well, it was... Fucking hell. I don't know what it was. It was nice and made me feel good. Made me feel like I was actually the person Cat saw and not the bitch I portrayed myself to be. 

So what would a threesome with Tori entail?


	2. Uncertainty

“I like this color on you, Jade.”

Cat smiled up at me from the floor before turning back to the nail polish she was applying to my toes. Frowning, I studied the color she had chosen and debated whether or not I liked midnight blue on my toes. Still, it made Cat happy and the secret soft spot I had for her allowed Cat to paint my nails pretty much any color but yellow, pink, or any neon or pastel colors. Picky? Not me.

“I talked to Tori and she said she wanted to go to the movies with us. Actually, she said me, and when I mentioned you, she got this weird look and said you could come too. Isn't that great?”

“I guess...”

It seemed that Tori had been truthful when she had said she was okay with possibly joining us, but I wasn't really digging the way she was treating this like some fairy tale courtship. Was it really that hard for her to just get down to business with Cat and me? Of course that's harsh. I mean, Cat and I didn't just pick up out of the blue and decide to fuck. We've known each other since we were in preschool, grew up together. It felt natural the first time we had kissed and it felt right the first time we experimented together. We never made it official or anything because that felt like taking it to a whole other level that we weren't ready for at the time.

Although, that had been while we were in high school. Now we were budding adults, trying to start our lives by making our way through college and bullshit jobs we didn't really want. Things just seemed to click better between Cat and I after graduation from Hollywood Arts. Beck and Andre moved to New York, which pretty much ended what Beck and I had. It did suck, but I had better opportunities going for me here, as well, I had Cat. 

Shut up, of course I have a heart, and I already admitted to the soft spot I have for Cat.

“Jade?”

“Hm...?”

“Are you okay with the whole Tori thing? You've been awfully quiet since that day.”

It was true, surprisingly. Not that I was a very chatty person, but I know Cat was referring more to the fact that I haven't really been snide or sarcastic since we met up with Tori last week. Fucking Tori. I can have sex and not associate it with love, that's easy, but there's just something about her that tugs at my heart the way Cat does. Well, almost like how Cat does. Cat was here first and longer, so Tori was just a stranger in the grand scale of things. Tori was like that old guy behind the register of a grocery store you frequent. At first, you don't really pay him much mind, but one day you smile at him and before you know it, you can't help but ask how he's doing. After a while, you start to care for this stranger, even though you initially had no intent to.

I'm not in love with Tori, but I probably would be a little disappointed if she turned me down. Yeah, I said it.

Cat, done with my toes, straddled my lap and gently touched my cheek. Her thumb brushed lightly against my cheekbone as she looked at me with this indescribable look in her eyes that she used to keep me from knowing what truly was on her mind. Trust me, I use to think she was just a little mental, but I've learned a lot about her since we started playing between the sheets. 

“It's not too late to say no if you think I made a mistake,” she said softly.

Leaning my face into the warmth of her hand, I stared at her lips for a long moment before meeting her eyes.

“I'm...” 

God, how do I say what the hell I'm thinking? It's hard to do it sometimes, but especially now. I can't even get the words right in my head about how I feel about this. Conflicted. Confused. Just a bit scared? All the above? But the thoughts refuse to translate easily into words that I can speak aloud.

It really pisses me off that Tori makes me feel this way.

“I'm fine with it,” I finally say.

If sounds like a lie, but it really isn't. I really am fine with it. Cat may be full of a lot of dumb and confusing ideas, but she's done nothing but good for me with the rare few that are actually sane, if a little questionable. Beside, I really do want to see how this plays out, even if it scares me in a way I can't justify or want to understand.

**

Christ.

Why does Tori have to make things so complicated? Can she not over-think something? Is simplicity really that hard of a concept for her to grasp?

Tori met us at the movie theater, dressed in a slinky black dress and a white cardigan over her shoulders. She smiled and laughed nervously with us as we picked out a movie, paid, and got snacks. In our seats, she sat between Cat and me and jumped every time I bumped my elbow into her arm by accident. When we left, she teetered awkwardly by the entrance of the movie theater, looking at us for a sign of what should transpire next.

“This is not a date,” I finally said with much annoyance.

Something in her eyes flickered uncertainly before she gave a nervous laugh.

“I know that. It doesn't count as a date unless we have dinner or something.”

“Ooo, can we go have dinner?” Cat chirped in. “I'm hungry and Jade knows this great Mexican place that makes the best pico de gallo. Hee, pico de gallo is funny to say.”

Christ.

“I don't mind catching something to eat. You know, not in a date way. Just in a group of friends catching something to eat kind of way,” Tori said quickly.

“Please Jade?” Cat begged, eyes bright and lip pouty.

Fucking hell.

“Sure, Cat,” I reluctantly sighed.

Squealing, Cat jumped into my car and I slipped behind the wheel as Tori got into her car and followed behind us. I wasn't happy I had to share one of my food havens with Tori, but since Cat brought it up and pouted her way passed my snark, well... I didn't have to be happy about it. 

Dinner consisted of tacos, pico de gallo, and Cat tiptoeing her fingers up and down my arms. I wasn't positive, but I was pretty sure she was doing it more to catch Tori's attention; and catch her attention it did. The first time Cat did it, Tori stared frozen, a look in her eyes that clearly read she was uncertain how to act. Should she look away, pretend she hadn't seen it, or should she say something? Finally, Cat giggled and asked Tori something about her job. The next time Cat tiptoed her fingers on me, she ended it with the back of her hand brushing my jaw. I smiled lewdly at Tori, making her blush deeply and bury her face in a napkin as she 'pretended' to wipe her mouth. 

I hadn't expected to, but I was enjoying myself. Tori's discomfort always made me enjoy things more.

“You got some sour cream on your lip, Cat,” I said, deciding I would really test Tori's nerves.

Cat began to reach for a napkin but I stopped her arm with my hand and leaned forward to lick the little speck of offending sour cream off her bottom lip. As Cat purred, I could hear Tori inhale sharply; both were absolutely delicious. Turning my face to look at the brunette, it was clear that Tori had reached her limits of uncertainty and embarrassment. She was letting taco grease drip onto her white cardigan and sat slack-jawed, but making odd noises in the back of her throat as if she was trying to say 'Stop tormenting me already!'. Or so I liked imagining.

“Are you okay?” Cat piped in concern.

It took a second, but Tori snapped out of it and placed her food down in what was definite defeat. She looked lost again, like that day at the park, but there was something in her eyes that said she had something on her mind.

“Sorry, what did you say?”

“You dripped taco on your cardigan,” Cat said, pointing out the orange stain.

“Oh god!” Tori sprung up and glanced around. “Where's the bathroom?”

“They don't have bathrooms here,” I supplied with a friendly smile.

“You're kidding me! What am I going to do with my blouse?” Tori was panicking now and I almost felt bad for her as she rubbed at the orange mess with napkins. Almost.

“We can go to my place. I live nearby,” Cat said.

“Please?”

I love when Tori begged. Note to self: Exploit if I ever get her in the sack.

**

It was true, Cat lived nearby, which was probably why I enjoyed spending the night at her place more than mine as I lived a good forty minutes away and sometimes when you get a craving for tacos... Well, it goes without saying, in many ways, doesn't it?

Anyway, we left Taco Delight quickly on Cat and Tori's urging -- not mine – and arrived at Cat's within five minutes, if that with the way the two of them decided to drive. I was not pleased with Cat driving my car like a maniac through the streets for a vast amount of reasons, but the primary one being that it was to do Tori a favor. When we got to Cat's apartment complex, Tori parked at the curb as Cat and I went into the building's underground parking lot that was for the tenants only, with one parking spot extra for each tenant's guests. I was in no rush, but once the car was parked, Cat practically ripped my arm off as she dragged me into the building and up to her apartment where Tori was already waiting. This was far too much for just a simple stain that was very likely not to come out by now. 

It dawned on me then that things were not as they seemed.

Inside, Cat took Tori's cardigan and began to furiously scrub the stain in the kitchen sink while Tori looked on, telling her to be careful. I went into the living room and kicked my shoes off, wishing I had worn my boots instead of the dumb flats Cat suggested I wear. I sat on the couch and tried to put out the annoying conversation going on between Cat and Tori in the next room. Then it went silent all of a sudden, except for the sound of running water. Curiosity piqued, though relieved they had both finally shut up, I inclined my head toward the doorway waiting to hear something more but it remained silent.

Wait. Did they...?

Quietly, I stood and walked to the doorway in time to see one redhead and one brunette pull back from each other, cardigan forgotten in the sink. I couldn't see Cat's face, but Tori looked like she had just got caught digging in the cookie jar just before dinner.

“Having fun?” I queried.

“Jade!” Tori squeaked. “It's not... I... She... The stain... I... But she...!”

Tori's mouth continued to move but nothing intelligent was able to get past her lips.

“I'm sorry,” finally manage to fall from her mouth.

She searched my face for a response but I only offered her a glare in return. Apologizing, even though Cat tried to tell her that it was okay, Tori wrung out her cardigan – stain still clear on it – and made a hasty exit out of the apartment. Cat looked at me, distressed.

“She left,” Cat said in a very disappointed tone.

“Yep. You kissed her and scared her away.”

“How do you know I kissed her?”

“Because I figured out that this was just a ploy for you to do it, wasn't it?”

Smiling sheepishly, Cat tried to look ashamed but she was not fooling anyone with the small smile in her eyes that gleamed mischievously.

“How did she taste?” Of course I was curious.

“Yummy. Like tacos!”

Insert mental facepalm here.

“Do you think I scared her off for good?”

That was a good question, but something in my gut said no. Especially not after I saw that look in her eyes in the restaurant.


	3. Complicated

It turned out that Tori wasn't as scared off as we had initially thought. She turned up a few days later on Cat's doorstep with a case of soda and a cheesy smile.

“I thought we could hang out or something?”

“And you decided to bring soda?” I asked.

Her face dropped a little. “Well, I didn't think it would be a great idea to get wasted right away. Plus, we can have fun without being trashed.”

“Sure we can!” Cat exclaimed, taking the case of soda and skipping off into the kitchen.

How is it that I manage to attract the ditziest of people?

As Cat scurried about the kitchen, Tori took a seat on the couch and I took a seat on a weird, but comfy, armless chair. I wasn't really sure what to say to Tori. I had made ignoring her practically my profession in high school and now I sat across from her two years after we graduated trying to figure out how to be civil with her in hopes of fulfilling my sexual fantasy.

Er, I mean, Cat's sexual fantasy. Not cool brain. Not cool.

With a happy hum, Cat entered the living room holding a wooden tray with three cans of soda and a plate of crackers, cheese, and grapes. I was a little disappointed she hadn't cooked something. Believe it or not, Cat was a really good cook – yeah, I have no idea how that's possible either considering she had to follow written directions to tie her shoes until she was thirteen. Setting the tray down on the coffee table, she claimed the spot beside Tori and popped a grape into her mouth.

“Help yourself guys,” she smiled.

“Thanks, Cat,” Tori and I said at the same time.

I frowned as Tori blushed. This was getting off to be quite the awkward moment. Thankfully, Cat was there, serving as a divine bridge between the three of us and it quickly became a half-decent chat amongst the three of us. Mostly I talked to Cat or stared at Tori. It was fun intimidating her.

And I was beginning to find her blushing cute.

…

You know, in a way.

“I gotta tinkle. Be right back,” Cat said after she had finished her soda.

I waited until she left the room to turn on Tori and have some fun.

“Are you a virgin?” I asked with a predatory grin. I'll admit, I was curious about it considering the proposal that now had Tori sitting here.

Tori choked on the soda she'd been drinking. Possibly, I picked that time to ask her in hopes she would do just that. Possibly.

“What?” she asked when she had stopped choking.

“Have you ever been down and dirty with someone other than your hand before?”

Blushing brighter than I thought possibly for both her complexion and ethnicity, Tori took another swig of her soda and shook her head as she swallowed. 

“No, I'm not.”

“Seriously?” I was honestly surprised. “Who was the unfortunate fellow?”

“Does it matter?”

“I rather know who you've touched before I touch you.” Well, if I touched her, I meant.

Making a face at this, but still blushing, Tori held her can of soda with both hands and let it rest in her lap. 

“I slept with Andre before he moved to New York,” she said quietly.

Whoa, what?

“Whoa, what?” I said out loud. “Andre?”

At this point, Cat had just wandered back in from the bathroom and looked confused by my expression of shock.

“What happened with Andre?”

“Tori banged him!”

“Oh my god. For real, Tori?”

“Yeah.”

Tori lapsed into silence after that, her eyes cast down at her soda. This was all kind of unexpected, and I could tell from the look on her face that it had been something more than a quick little fling.

“Cat, can you run to my car and get my purse?” I said.

Looking confused, Cat looked around the room. “I thought you came up with it?”

“No. I left it in the car. Go get it for me.”

Frowning in confusion, Cat nodded. “Okay. I'll be back in a jiffy.”

When I heard Cat's front door close, I sat up in my seat, drawing Tori's attention. She didn't look like she wanted to say anything else on the matter but I was too curious to let it go. Nosy? Who?

“So what exactly happened between you and Andre?”

“I don't want to talk about it,” Tori said quietly.

“You know I'm not going to drop it so you might as well spill the beans.”

“Jade...” Tori pleaded softly.

Crossing my arms, I leaned back in my chair and quirked my studded eyebrow. I was going to get the story out of her through pure intimidation, if need be. If you got the glare, use it.

“Fine,” Tori finally relented, groaning. “It wasn't anything major. We were working on our last collaboration and he kind of blurted out that he had liked me for a long time.”

“And you liked him?”

“Yes and no. As a friend, I adore him, but beyond that, I never had anything but friendly thoughts toward him.”

“So how did you end up sleeping with him?”

Tori frowned and chewed on her lip for a moment before answering. 

“I don't know. One minute we were singing and laughing, then Andre confessed to me how he'd always felt. I knew he was going to leave soon, so I... I kissed him. I meant it only to be a small, quick kiss, nothing more. I wanted to tell him that I thought it was sweet that he liked me but we never could be anything more than friends. But, then his hand was pressed lightly to the small of my back and I felt hot and cold all at the same time.” Tori got a far look in her eyes as she remembered the moment.

“So you just gave in to the whims of your body, huh?”

“Yeah, basically,” Tori smiled in embarrassment. 

“What happened after that?”

“Nothing. We kind of laughed it off, but it felt kind of awkward, which was okay since Andre was leaving soon, but...”

“It changed your perception on him.”

“Yes. I still see him as nothing but a friend. What we did however felt wonderful and amazing but I know with every fiber in my being that it honestly could never be anything more a one time thing. I love him as a friend and nothing more. I know, I must sound like such a weirdo.”

Resting my cheek on my fist, I thought about it for a moment seriously. I understood what she had meant, but at the same time I didn't understand her at all. Then I thought about it, really thought it. For years, I went about screwing Beck and Cat. I loved them both, but if I really thought about it, my love for Beck reflected nothing more than the fact that he was someone who didn't fear me. He smiled at me even when I was pissed off at him. He never asked for anything, only gave to me what he could, because he cared and loved me. What I felt with him was genuine surprise at the fact that there was a person out there like him. I loved him because he could see past my glares and snark, but that was it. He'll always have a place in my heart because of who he is, not because of how I feel for him.

“No, you're not a weirdo,” I said seriously.

Tori looked up in surprise at my tone. She must've seen something on my face because instead of telling me not to tease her or something, she smiled at me. God, it was a beautiful smile. All of Tori's smiles were pretty, but occasionally she would smile this beautiful smile that would practically glow. Before I could even register the fact, I was moving forward, bridging the space between us. I could see her eyes grow wide in fear and confusion, then I saw the click as she realized I wasn't about to hurt her. 

Instead, I kissed her.

It was like a million tiny explosions between our lips as I tasted Tori's lips for the first time. I felt the way I had when I had first kissed Cat, nervous and thrilled. My heart pounded as I really melted into the kiss, pushing Tori back against the couch. What I felt wasn't even sexual, not completely. It felt like I had won something. That feeling of victory seeped into my bones and made them feel like jelly as my skin crawled with electricity. 

What is this? I've never felt like this before. It was scary.

Pulling away, I made the mistake of opening my eyes and looking at Tori's face as I began to stand up. The mistake here was that I could see whatever it was I felt reflected back at me on her face. We had had a moment.

Holy fuck. This was getting a little bit over my head now.

“I, uh, gotta go,” I said quickly, attempting to rein in my thoughts and feelings.

“Yeah, okay...” Tori said breathlessly.

I bumped into Cat at the front door and took my purse from her as I told her I'd call her later. I wanted to put as much distance between me and Tori as fast as possible. Opting for a quick escape down the stairs, I tried to figure out what the fuck had just happened.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

This was getting sticky.


	4. Reason

I kind of ignored my phone for a few days after the kiss with Tori. From the get-go, I had been worried what this whole fiasco would result in and I should've known that if it involved Tori Vega, it would not be a simple process. God forbid she made anything easy. Still, I hadn't expected it to be this fucking conflicting and hard. Wasn't the whole point of this situation that we all just had sex, once or twice, and called it quits? Then Tori would go back to whatever stupid shit she was doing and leave Cat and me alone except for awkward drunken phone calls and Christmas?

Except, honestly, there had been no rules set down to begin with. Everything that was unfurling was happening based on assumptions and plain ignorance. I hated to admit it, but yeah, maybe some of what was happening was based on the hope that it would become something more -- which I didn't want to think about. I refused to acknowledge that little voice that hoped something more could come of this. We lived in a modern society where after interracial and gay relationships had become mostly accepted, the only types of relationships left to despise were immoral and polyamorous ones, and I was fine with that.

So why did my heart beat so hard whenever I thought about being in bed with Cat and Tori at the same time and we're only snuggled up together in that peaceful moment before sleep? I blush at the thought of Cat cooking breakfast while Tori stretches out beside me in bed on a lazy Sunday morning. The few sexual thoughts involving the three of us usually end up with me either with my hand buried between my thighs or in the shower with scalding hot water on me to chase them away. I don't understand what the hell is going on in my head anymore, all I feel is the desire that's too needy and hopeful for my liking.

It's just going to be sex, I keep telling myself, but my heart hopes for that little bit more. Stupid, treacherous body.

Cat finally sought me out when I told her to buzz off over text message, after not having spoken to her for days. She knew me well enough to know that me withdrawing and being crabby meant something was wrong with me. When I opened the door to Cat, her ruby locks were dripping wet and her make up was running. It'd been raining on and off for the last two days, which I liked. I felt the gloomy weather fit my mood far better that way. When Cat entered my apartment, her shoes squished with water and her clothes were glued to her from the weather, but the look of concern in her eyes was large and probably didn't even register any of this as I handed her a towel.

“What's wrong, Jade?” she asked, simply clenching the towel – it was already forgotten in her hands.

“Nothing. Can't you take a clue when I say 'buzz off'? It means I want to be left alone.”

“You haven't talked to me in days. I'm worried. You left so suddenly the other day but Tori wouldn't tell me what had happened.” Her voice went low and suspicious. “She didn't do something to you, did she?”

I wanted to laugh, and I was annoyed by the fact that no matter what, Cat had this way of being able to figure out a way to draw me back out of the dark hole I loved to climb into. Running my hand through my hair, I looked away.

“You're dripping all over my floor. Why don't you get undressed and hop into the shower?”

“Not until you tell me what happened.”

“I...” 

Damn you, Cat. Stop climbing into my head and heart and making me feel more than what I have to, is what I wanted to say right then, but I knew she had already won my tongue.

“Nothing happened. I kissed Tori is all,” I said, feeling a little defeated.

Scowling, Cat tilted her head. “And that was bad?”

Yes! God, yes, it was. She was delicious and amazing and my heart was in my throat with how she fucking made me feel.

“No, it wasn't.”

“Jade...?”

I avoided Cat's gaze. “Let's hop in the shower together and maybe talk there.”

I really was getting annoyed that she was dripping all over my carpet, but at that moment, anything to prolong the fact that I would have to discuss my weak ass feelings was a blessing.

Thankfully, Cat obeyed and peeled herself out of her wet clothes, handing them to me as she quietly toweled her hair so it wouldn't continue to drip before heading off toward the bathroom. I dumped her clothes in the washing machine, not bothering to separate her white top from her red capris – I was sure she would love her new pink top later – and headed off to the bathroom. The shower was already running with Cat beneath it's warm embrace when I entered. I knew I didn't have to jump in with her, but it had been awhile since I'd gotten any action, besides, it might actually involve less talking than I had promised to Cat.

I stripped off my clothes and left them in a heap on the floor before I pulled back the shower curtain and joined the redhead. I watched her while she rinsed shampoo off her hair, soapy water cascading down her shoulders and breasts, obscuring my view of her nipples slightly. I waited until she was done before pressing her against the tiles and kissing her hard and desperate. I wanted to put Tori as far out of my mind as I could at the moment. I wanted Cat and nothing more; I wanted her the way I had had her a few weeks ago before things got complicated.

She melted into me, a hand coming to press gently on the nape of my neck as the shower pelted my hair and back with water. My hands on her hips, I ground my mound against hers, making her gasp and spread her legs, hips shifting to allow my grinding to hit her where she would benefit from it the most. I shuddered at the display, loving how I could make her feel and how she could make me feel. Pulling my face away, I leaned back into the water so my face was beneath the shower's spray as I listened to Cat's soft gasps. I didn't want to feel anything but Cat right then. I just wanted to feel her and not be reminded of the fact that soon things might be different. Soon, Tori will be pressed against us and I didn't know if things would ever feel this perfect again, so I wanted to relish this moment.

When I pulled my face away from the water and shook away some of it so I could open my eyes, I found Cat's brown eyes watching me carefully. I couldn't read what might've been on her mind, but I knew that she was still worried about me. Trying to open my mouth to tell her not to worry, Cat slipped her hand down between us and brushed her fingers softly against my clit. No, I didn't want her touching me just yet, so I reached for her hand to pull her away, but she quickly grabbed my wrist with her other hand. Despite her small frame, she maneuvered us around so that I was the one pressed against the tiled wall. Her fingers brushed my clit more, making me give up the fight as I succumbed to her actions.

“I want you to tell me what is wrong with you,” she said.

Opening my mouth to tell her something, I don't know what, I was quickly cut off by her fingers slipping lower and wiggling into me. Cat pressed against me tightly, moving her fingers quickly inside of me as she coaxed one of my legs up with her free hand. I panted as she finger fucked me, letting my arms wrap around her shoulders as she worked my body. My leg, captive in her surprisingly strong grasp, wrapped awkwardly around her waist as I used the leverage of the position and the wall I was pressed against to push down on her fingers as she pushed up. 

“Cat...” I groaned, hating the heady tone of my voice. “Please...”

“Please what?”

“Don't stop...” I sighed as I felt my stomach tighten and my body begin to tense.

Cat knew what I meant as she felt me tense around her fingers. Kissing my throat and shoulder, she paused for only a second as I came, soundlessly crying her name, before going back to work. I felt the fuzzy warmth of my orgasm but I ignored it. I wanted that fuzzy warmth to be hot and suffocating; I wanted it to drown me. Cat fucked me through the shudders and up to another orgasm. This time, I pressed my face against her shoulder when I came and cried in both relief and from everything conflicting that had been fucking about in my head. I don't liked that I cried, at all, but it felt like a welcome release when it was over. I could think clearer now.

Only Cat could coerce such embarrassing emotions out of me. I preferred it that way because it was only one person, someone that I trusted and who I was damn near positive would never hurt me intentionally. Of course, Tori was the cause of these stupid emotions to begin with and the implications this pointed to were ones that made me uncertain.

“Are you ready to talk, Jade?” Cat asked when I had pulled away and ducked beneath the water to hide my tears.

Silent for a long time as I went about cleaning myself, I debated on an answer.

“Sure, but let's get of here before the hot water disappears,” I finally said, shutting off the water.

We didn't bother to get dressed after the shower. Instead, we dried off and climbed beneath the black cotton sheets of my king size bed. It seemed pointless to have such a large bed, but I liked how the black sheets made me feel like I was being swallowed up by my bed at night. Like, there was no end of the bed and no beginning of the darkness when the lights went out. It made fucking there feel like fucking in a void. It was magical in a macabre way. Together, we laid there quietly for a long time with the night light Cat made me keep for when she stayed over, glowing dimly on the wall.

“So...?” Cat prodded finally.

She knew I wouldn't talk unless she prodded.

“Why is Tori making this so weird?” I finally said in a rush of breath. “Why can't she just get it on with us and be done with it?”

Cat seemed surprised by my words.

“I don't think it's weird. She wants to enjoy it. Taking our time is like foreplay. The longer it's drawn out, the better the sex,” Cat said with a smile.

“It's stupid...” I grumbled, hating that what Cat had just said made perfect sense.

“Jade, can I ask you a question?”

I looked at her, eyebrow quirked up. Something in her voice had changed.

“Are you in love with Tori?”

“What? Why would I be in love with the chick I vehemently avoided and hated all throughout high school?” I scoffed.

“Well, they say that when someone likes someone else a lot, they tend to be really mean to them. One time, my brother...”

“No,” I cut her off quickly. “I've told you before, I will not listen to stories about your crazy brother while we are naked in bed.”

“Sorry,” Cat pouted.

She lapsed into silence for a moment. Only for a moment.

“So... Do you?”

“What? Like Vega?”

“Yes.”

“Not like you think...”

Way to be confusing, and a fantastic job with concealing your true feelings.

“Hmm... Do you like me?” she asked.

“You know how I feel about you, Cat.”

When had this become a game of Twenty Questions?

“I want to hear you say it.” 

“Yes, Cat. I like you. A lot.”

“Do you love me?” she asked, straddling my legs.

“Yes,” I said, brushing my hand through some of her still wet hair.

“Do you like Tori like how you like me?”

Oh, I see what she did there. Sneaky girl.

“I... Don't know. Maybe.” I frowned.

“Are you afraid that she might like you back in the same way?”

Whoa, where did that come from?

“After the way I've treated her all these years? Why would she?”

“The real question is why did she accept my proposal, even knowing you were part of the deal?”

Cat kissed me then, tired of talking, but my thoughts were spinning so fast that I wondered if they would drip out of my ears if I tilted my head. See what I've been saying? Cat just had this way with getting into my head and reading me like a book that I'm surprised she didn't have nightmares from it. Honestly speaking, I hadn't really wanted to acknowledge the fact that I might like Tori, you know, a lot, but doing it, even if reluctantly, Cat was able to point out my secret fear. The one that had been quiet and meek, hiding beneath a stack of unwanted emotions in that weird little broom closet in my sub-conscious:

What if Tori didn't like me back?

Was that what I've been trying to rack my brain about all this time? I mean, okay, yeah, I picked on Tori a lot in school because I hated her, but moreso because I liked her. This whole time, I tried to ignore that, but I did it because I was also afraid that she would reject me. The easiest way to avoid rejection was to ignore it. To brush temptation out of your way and keep walking like you didn't even see it standing there. That's what I had been doing for years and now I was tripping. I was facing my temptation and realizing that it might have an interest in me too.

Truthfully, it was still scary.

I didn't want to think of how this would end, but I knew that the only way to get over either the fear or Tori herself was to face them head on and see what stood standing when the dust settled.


	5. Nerves

My throat burned as I inhaled. Closing my eyes, I let the taste of god-knows-what that makes a cigarette taste like a cigarette swirl in my mouth before slowly allowing it to drift out of my mouth in a thin plume of smoke. Honestly speaking, I hated cigarettes. Smoking fucks with my voice and while I'm not actively pursuing a career in the music industry, I do like my voice as is. Still, I hated malls more, and guess where I was? A cigarette was in high demand to tame my more than usual flair of annoyance.

I didn't care that there were 'no smoking' signs plastered all over the place.

Biting my lip, I tapped my thumb against my chin, making a wiggly pattern of smoke in the air beside my face as I watched Cat and Tori. They were in a nearby clothing store, one of those small ones where the owners watched you like you were about to steal something but plastered fake smiles and asked you if you needed anything even though they had no real interest in knowing. They were bent over looking at some glass display – likely of watches or 'fancy' wallets – smiles from ear to ear on their faces. Hell, they were adorable. They moved to a nearby rack of shirts and Cat grabbed a hanger with a orange and brown shirt. Pressing it against herself, she smiled and said something to Tori – likely _'how does it look?'_ – to which Tori said something and then they were laughing at an unheard joke.

It's dumb, but I sort of wish I had heard it, even though it was probably stupid.

Truthfully, I felt like a third wheel to this shopping expedition. If it hadn't been for Cat, I wouldn't even be standing here fucking up my vocal cords with cigarettes and wishing I could hear stupid jokes Tori said. Unfortunately, while she could be irritating, Cat was very good at being persuasive. All she had to do was walk up to me with her hips purposely swaying from side to side, ask me a question she knew I would say no to, and cup her hand tightly against my crotch. I honestly think if I were born a guy I'd be her hopeless puppy dog, especially when she did things like that just to get her way. She had learned long ago that with me, sex gets more 'yes's than puppy eyes and she has happily exploited that knowledge many times before. Did that mean I was her hopeless puppy dog anyway? Not on your damn life.

I continued to study them as they left the store, Cat pausing to wave enthusiastically at me and Tori throwing a cheery smile in my direction before heading into yet another store. As a girl, I've done my share of store hopping and shopping, but those times centered around me and thus, weren't so bad. Waiting for other people to browse store after store while you wanted nothing more than to lie in bed until the materials that comprised it decayed away is torturous.

Aside from promising Cat, which meant little as I've broken promises to her before, though not many, I stayed and watched because I was curious. All through high school I saw how our small group of friends had interacted with each other but unless I was forced, I usually never stuck around long enough around to really figure out why it was that we all seemed to like each other so much. Some of it was obvious – old school mates, friends for years, common interests, and whatnot. However, Tori started out as an outsider to us. Aside from her singing, she was a completely unknown factor. It was easy to quickly chalk her off as another Trina because they were related but the truth had been much more tolerable. I knew why I had tried avoiding Tori in our Hollywood Arts days, but I didn't really know why the others seemed so drawn to her, even myself in time.

Tori and Cat were comparing products in Bed Bath and Beyond, which I momentarily considered entering myself as I was running low on a few things but I just lit another cigarette instead. Tori tucked some stray strands of hair behind her ear and I watched the seamless motion as I thought about my somewhat involuntary confession to Cat the other night. I liked Tori, and have probably since... Well, I can't really say when exactly. I just know that one day most of my animosity for her just disappeared and was replaced with a knotted feeling in my stomach whenever she flicked her hair or licked her lips. Naturally, I felt like an idiot for feeling that way at the time, and mostly still feel the same about it. I didn't know what it was that was so alluring about Tori. I spent far more hours than I care to admit to mulling it over until I decided it was a pointless endeavor.

Without realizing it at the time, Tori would become my favorite mystery to puzzle over when I was really bored.

A mall cop began walking in my direction but I had already been on watch for them and stubbed out the cigarette before he could get to me. Instead of sticking around to hear some lecture about following rules, I entered Bed Bath and Beyond. I tried to make myself look interested in a display, partially hiding behind it when the mall cop walked by. Cat and Tori were nearby, their backs to me, chatting adamantly about whether coconut or cherry blossom smelled better. Rolling my eyes, I glanced about for the mall pig but he had vanished and I made to make my more than happy exit when Cat and Tori's conversation grew a little more serious and a lot less giggly.

"I was just wondering about how Jade is adjusting to this thing we're going to do?" Tori examined a bottle with little interest as she waited for the redhead beside her to speak.

"What thing?" Cat asked with confusion.

"You know, the s-e-x thing." Tori's voice was a whisper.

"Oh! That thing!"

Tori nodded at her beaming friend.

"She's being a little shy about sharing me," Cat said with a teasing giggle.

"Is she really?"

"No. But she is a little more sour than usual. I think she's nervous about the whole thing." The redhead paused and shook her head. "She's nervous about you."

"Nervous about me? I'm the one that she tormented in school and she's nervous because of me?" Tori was incredulous.

"Jade is deeper than she lets on. On the inside, she's a big softie."

Tori lapsed into silence with that, either not believing it or too stunned by it. Either way, I decided it was my cue to disappear before they realized I was eavesdropping on them. Out in the main mall area, I strolled over to a fountain and took a seat beside it. There were other people milling about but my beaming aura of dislike and disapproval seemed to make them give me just enough of a berth that I felt alone and thus, comfortable. I lit another cigarette as I waited for Cat and Tori to give up their girlish squawking and giggling for the day. Thinking over their conversation, I tried to imagine the way Tori must see me. As a scary being, I'd hope, as it should be. Yet I didn't think she did or else she would never be here with both Cat and I.

So what did she see in me as things were?

With a grunt, I decided I wouldn't dwell another minute on it. This kind of obsessing couldn't be healthy for me so screw it, let things just fall as they may.

**

This morning I had smoked more than half a pack of cigarettes and now I was sipping my way through a third cup of vodka and coke. My throat was going to be complete shit for the next two or three days for sure.

On the bright side, if there was one here, I was watching Cat and Tori kissing quite drunkenly on the former's couch. I was secretly really trying to be mad here, but I tricked myself into believing that the alcohol was breaking down my defenses – which it wasn't – and sat back to enjoy the show – which I was totally supposed to be mad about, I think. Nothing beats alcohol logic – even though it took a lot more than three drinks to get me wasted to the point where I might actually have alcohol logic like that. It didn't hurt to pretend though.

Cat, always the eager one, was groping Tori's boobs, making me smirk into my cup. I had the feeling neither was as drunk as they were pretending to be, but that didn't seem to slow them down either as they swapped spit and Tori rested her hands on Cat's hips.

So... Was this going to be it?

Were we going to fuck on the couch after a day of shopping, eating, and drinking? Or were Cat and Tori going to fuck in their supposedly drunken stupors and just leave me on the sidelines to watch?

Tori looked over at me, her eyes both registering the fact that I was there with some embarrassment and then scanning my face to find any kind of annoyance there. There was none because I wasn't mad like I wanted to pretend I was. With a shy smile, her cheeks coloring red as Cat nipped along exposed shoulder and collarbone, she lifted a hand away from the redhead's waist and beckoned me over.

Ah, so I am to be part of the fun.

I set my cup down in slow motion, or it felt like slow motion. Maybe I had drunken a bit more than I had initially thought or perhaps my rapidly increased heartbeat and the fluttering in my stomach was slowing down time like in one of those horribly cheesy romance movies. Ugh, I hope it was only the alcohol. Still, I felt a tingle of something flush across my skin as I sat on the other side of Tori and leaned forward to capture Cat's waiting lips – her hands were still playing with Tori's boobs. Even though I pressed myself against Tori's back, I kept my hands in my lap, too nervous to touch her, even though I really wanted to. Fuck, like badly. I could smell her perfume, that same one from all those weeks ago, mixed with a tinge of sweat and alcohol. It was an intoxicating bouquet of Tori and my instincts wanted me to run away or punch her. My instincts were pulsating _'danger'_ and _'poison'_ but my head was pounding to the rhythm of my blood and heart, leaving me breathless and wanton when I so should not be.

Then I'm kissing Tori. Just like that. I don't even remember the transition of Cat to Tori but I know it's the brunette because I haven't been able to stop tasting her lips since our first kiss weeks ago. Daring to sound cliché, only this once, I swear my heart stopped beating for a moment before I felt it flicker a beat again. I then allowed myself to give in to the snake in the Garden of Eden.

"Bed. Now," I managed to get out, standing and brushing past the entwined redhead and brunette.

Neither seemed happy about leaving the comfy couch but they quickly followed, giggling amongst themselves as I tasted desire on my lips so thick that I thought it was blood until I wiped my mouth on my hand and only saw lipstick on it. Kicking off my pants, I turned to find Cat and Tori kissing against the door frame to the bedroom and growled - audibly - causing them to break apart in surprise. There was blood on my lips in the form of desire and I wanted so much more of it that I didn't want to let their silly pretend drunkenness get in my way. I tugged Cat to me and kissed her, hard and sloppy. It broke some of my rules of sex but fuck it, I wasn't going for style here, then I pushed her onto the bed, where she squealed like a five-year-old on a ride as she fell, and turned my attention to Tori.

Despite what had just been transpiring between her and Cat, Tori seemed awkward and shy as I cupped her chin in my hand. I wanted to be rough with her. I tried to yank her toward me the way I had done to Cat but instead I moved against her, kissing her with all the secret love I had carefully hidden in my heart over the years. She responded with gentle hands on my backside and a tongue that sought out mine. I'm pretty sure I came at the moment. Then someone – Cat – was tugging me backward to the bed and I held onto Tori as I did as the prodding hands wanted. I fell backward with Tori landing right on top of me and felt every bit of me burst into flames as she chuckled in embarrassment.

This... This was only about sex. About a proposal Cat had offered Tori and that Tori had agreed to. There were no expectations to come of this. No love.

No love...?

I realized at that moment, that despite what I had tried to do; all the things I had done to keep myself distant and safe – I had fallen in love with Tori. Or perhaps I always had been and was just now realizing it.

Fuck.

Rolling over, I pinned Tori beneath me and studied her for a long moment. Her cheeks were tinged red. Her lips were kiss swollen. Strands of her hair were stuck to her face with sweat as the rest did what it could to fan out beneath her. Tori's cleavage was struggling to remain in her shirt. I wanted to paint the moment in my head and keep it there forever. From the corner of my eye, I could see Cat smiling at me and I realized then that this had been her plan all along. But maybe that was just some imaginary alcohol logic at work. Maybe.

"Beautiful..." I heard drip from my lips as Tori's eyes widen in shock. Realizing my slip of the tongue, I quickly added, "Don't say anything or you'll kill the moment."

Tori was smart though and could read between the lines as her eyes soften and she touched my cheek lightly before letting her hand slip to the back of my neck. We met halfway for a kiss that left me breathless yet again before I forced myself to look up at Cat. Her eyes, as always held secrets I would never be able to decipher, but I could tell that she was pleased with herself.

And then I realized I didn't know what to do.

Because I was nervous.

And a bit afraid.

Geez, what the hell is wrong with me?

"Do you hate me?"

I didn't even realize I had been wondering the question before it slipped out of my mouth. Tori looked honestly confused, tilting her head ever so slightly to make sure she had heard me right.

"No," she finally answered.

"Are you afraid of me?"

"Should I be?"

"Always."

"Then yes. You've scared me ever since I first met you," Tori admitted, looking guilty. "But I always considered you a friend even if you hated me."

Rolling my eyes, I rolled off of Tori and sat on the edge of the bed. I didn't feel well. My head was spinning with alcohol and too many feelings – Cat's nauseating colorful décor did absolutely nothing to aide my spinning head. Someone touched my back sending me to my feet and collecting my shoes from the floor. It was silent for a moment as I struggled to get them on and then Cat asked where I was going.

"I feel sick. I need some air."

It was a lie, partially. My head was still spinning which really was making me feel sick, but I knew I wanted to get out of there because... I don't know. I was a pussy? Had to be because I had two beautiful women ready for me to take them any way I pleased and instead I was turning into some sentimental head case and running away from them.

What. On. Earth. Is. Wrong. With. Me?

Maybe Beck had tainted me with his kindness and sentimentality. Yeah, that sounded possible. I took pride in passing myself off as a cold hearted bitch and now that facade was crumbling right before my eyes. Obviously, Beck found a way to subconsciously fuck me up.

Okay, so that sounded like bullshit even to me.

Outside in the parking lot, I leaned against a parked car and lit another cigarette as I thought about what had just transpired. Cat and Tori were either worried about me or laughing at me. Or they were fucking without me, but I sincerely doubted that final possibility. The fresh air was helping to clear up my head as the cigarette did it's job to destroy my vocal cords further. I had felt suffocated upstairs between Cat and Tori, which I couldn't really understand why. I wanted this threesome to happen just as much as Cat seemed to have wanted it but I was becoming an emotional bitch about it.

I repeat: What is wrong with me?

My phone rang, scaring the shit out of me. Ignoring it seemed ideal but it just kept ringing until I finally yanked it out of my pocket and glared at the screen to see who it was.

It was Beck. Of course it was.

"It's your fault I can't fuck them without having weepy, pussy emotions about it," I blurted into the phone a split second after I answered it.

"Hello to you too, Jade," came the cool response. Despite my personality, I've never been able to rattle Beck except for when I was about to explode a fiery hell upon someone and even then he was always able to calm me down just enough to keep me out of jail. Probably why I finally cut him loose.

"What do you want?"

"I was just calling to say hi but it sounds like you're having a bad moment. What's up?"

Slumping down to the ground so I was hidden between two cars, I tried not to sound miserable but after the outburst I felt the fight drain out of me just enough to allow me to feel the familiar tendrils of my old friend misery. It was never hard talking to Beck though, which was probably why I stuck it out with him for so long.

"I don't know what's wrong with me anymore. I feel like I'm losing my mind."

"Tell me about it, maybe I can help."

Resisting the urge to scoff, I summarized the situation in as few sentences as possible. Not only did I enjoy being difficult like that, but I didn't want Beck to hear me being a softie pushover so I tried to omit as much of my sappy thinking over the past few weeks out of the summary. When I was done, Beck was quiet for a second.

"I don't think I've ever heard this side of you, Jade," he said. "I think you've held in your feelings so much that they're acting like the bubbles in a bottle of soda. Shake the bottle enough and sooner or later they'll pop that cap off on their own and make a mess everywhere. I know you, so that's something you don't want, but it sounds like it's happening anyway. Your best bet is to slowly uncap your feelings."

"I'm not a bottle of soda," I snipped.

"Jade, you're trying to avoid my point, which has proven to backfire on you so far. Just try and tell Tori how you feel, then go from there."

"You make it sound so damn easy."

"Because it is. Just give it a try."

I couldn't see his face but I knew he was smiling and for a moment, I realized I missed him a lot more than I thought I would when he first left. Beck was like a comfortable pair of shoes you wore over and over again and when they broke, you either tried to fix them or you tucked them in the back of your closet because you don't have the heart to throw them out. And when you finally did? You missed them terribly.

"Thanks, I guess," I mumbled into the phone.

"You're welcome," Beck beamed on the other end. He always seemed so proud of me when I used my manners.

"And, er, hi," I added.

"Hello."

"G'night."

"Night."

Hanging up, I could only stare at my MyPhone in thought for a long time. Beck had made it sound so easy but that's because it was easy for him, he was used to being the emotional one. Standing, I dusted my ass off and pocketed my phone before looking up at Cat's building and sighing. Fine, I could do this. Or I could at least try to do this. Honestly though, I was tired of feeling conflicted and not myself so I had to do something now or I knew I would never be able look at my reflection again.


	6. Acceptance

I wasn't sure what to expect when I entered Cat's apartment. I figure Tori had ducked out of there and Cat had cried herself to sleep or some shit that would make me feel even worst than I already did. The apartment was silent, the mess of beer bottles still littered the coffee table in the living room. It wasn't until I headed toward Cat's bedroom that I heard the shower running in the bathroom across the hall. It remained to be seen whether or not that was a good thing but I decided against going in. I figured it was best to let Cat shower in peace. Plus, if she was in some kind of emotional meltdown or something, I wasn't in the frame of mind to handle it right now. So I steered myself into the bedroom to crash on the bed in the silence before Cat's exit.

I was not expecting Tori to be propped up comfortably against the pillows in the middle of Cat's bed like some oversized stuffed animal.

"You're still here,” I said with genuine surprise.

“Yeah. Seems like you are too,” she replied, unfazed.

On my way back up to Cat's apartment, I had tried to go through possible things I could say in the uncomfortable case that Tori might actually still be here. Unfortunately, I hadn't able to think of much and right now, I couldn't remember any of my half-assed ideas. Instead, Beck's words began chanting in my head like some kind of mocking buzz that I imagined would only go away if I took his advice or stabbed my eardrum with a Q-Tip. Since I enjoyed listening to music too much to risk the stabbing, I sighed in defeat.

“Vega...” I started, my heartbeat beginning to pick up speed.

She looked up at me in silence, concerned etched in her features. I wanted to crumble but I made sure to give her a frown.

“I like you,” I said as quickly as possible.

Frowning, she shook her head. “What?”

Inhaling and exhaling slowly, I tried again. “I... like you.”

“Like me as in _'like me'_? Or like me in the way you like a really good friend?” Tori seemed genuinely confused, though something in her eyes made me think she was faking her naivety. 

Crossing my arms I looked away. “I like you... the way I like Cat.”

“You call belittling someone 'like'?”

Now I was just annoyed. Whipping my head around to begin cursing and shouting, I was wholly surprised by Tori herself. I hadn't realized she'd been slowly moving her way toward me. When I turned my face away, she took the opportunity to kneel on the bed in front of me so that when I turned back to her, I was literally looking her in the eyes. Tori was silently staring back at me, a little smile playing on her lips. Unlike Cat, forever odd and enigmatic in her own right, her eyes more often than not unreadable, Tori was different. She wore her heart on her sleeve for the world to see, allowing the vultures to peck at it from time to time, and as I looked into her eyes, I could see everything she wasn't saying and I got it.

She understood what I meant and was willing to open herself up to me, without fear.

So I kissed her. I kissed her like I would drown without the breath in her lungs. The sentiment seemed to go both ways as the kiss intensified, engulfing us in heat and fire.

After a time, I allowed myself to sink down into the bed and pulled Tori with me, our mouths locked tightly together the whole while. I was tired of words and worrying, of fear and uncertainty. I finally understood that all I had always wanted was sitting contently in the palm of my hand, all I had to do was enjoy it. 

Enjoy it I planned to do.

Tori slipped out easily from her tee shirt, actually blushing lightly when I ran my hands up her sides. She giggled and twisted slightly when I brushed my fingers lightly across her ribs as I slid my hands around to her back. Her bra fell away to reveal delicious brown nipples that my mouth instantly devoured. When she moaned, the sound gave me goosebumps and made me attack her mouth with mine again, hungry for her in ways that were primal and needy.

I probably should have taken it slower, enjoyed the planes of her body or something but I just wanted her. While I wasn't as rough as I had wanted to be with Cat earlier, I still made it clear that foreplay at this moment would be laughed at. Not that Tori seemed to notice or complain. Instead, she was unbuttoning her jeans even before I had thought of it, which just made me smirk in satisfaction. Her jeans removed, panties lost somewhere on the opposite side of the room, I slipped between beautiful tan colored thighs and dove for Tori's sex like some overeager virgin trying to prove I knew what I was doing. Of course, the big difference here was that I didn't have to prove how good I was because my work talked for itself.

Singing wasn't the only good thing my mouth was for.

Tori was a panting and moaning mess in moments as I lashed at her clit with my tongue. She grabbed at my hair and yanked without meaning to, but it was insanely hot. I watched her try to compose herself a bit here and there but in the end all she did was moan louder and pant incoherent words. It seemed like overkill at this point but I slid two fingers into her and chuckled when her body arched and she keened. Her body shuddered as she rocked her hips and arched her back upward, giving me the greatest point of view of her breasts. Then, as quickly as it had began, it was over as Tori clenched around my fingers and moaned loudly before a gush of fluid slicked my fingers and hand.

Fuck yes.

I licked my fingers lazily and sat back against the pillows horny as hell but content as all fuck as I watched Tori try to collect herself. It took a moment before she smiled and sat up in front of me looking disheveled but still beautiful. I had expected her to be a little more conservative about her nakedness but Tori didn't even seem to notice it. She did, however, blush lightly when she noticed what I was doing with my hand and tongue.

“So, um... Wow,” she said.

“Yeah,” I agreed with a smug smirk.

I have no idea how I was currently able to contain my deep desire to tackle Tori backward onto the bed and fuck her brains out. 

“I guess you really do like me,” Tori teased.

I arched an eyebrow at her. “Was it that obvious?”

In a rare moment, we began laughing. It was even rarer because we weren't laughing at someone else, just each other. We were actually sharing a meaningful moment. It was a bit trippy to be honest. I guess the small buzz from the alcohol earlier hadn't totally faded for me. Or, you know, I was just really happy about what had just happened. Hard to really tell.

“Oh yay! Everyone made up!” Cat squealed from the doorway.

The redhead stood just inside of the room with a towel wrapped around her middle and her ruby locks dripping wet around her smiling face. I rolled my eyes and gave her a smile, motioning her over to me with a nod of the head. Only too happy to do so, Cat bounced over to me, tackling me and giggling. As much as I hated too much touching of my person, thanks to my briefly pleased mood and the fact that a happy Cat made me happy, I allowed her to draw me into a kiss instead of getting mad that she was wetting my clothes with her wet skin and hair.

“Does this mean we can do it now?” she asked when she pulled away.

I swear that if she were a dog, Cat's tail would've been wagging rapidly at that moment. The way she arched her back at me and allowed the towel to just barely stay on made me very much think of a bitch in heat. Maybe she needed to change her name.

“I don't know. Vega might be a bit tired.”

“Tired? Me?” Tori laughed before leaning in to kiss first Cat and then me. “I'm up for anything right about now. How about you, Jade?”

Both of them hit me with wide, hungry brown eyes that made me wetter than I already was. Challenge accepted.

I gave them a sharp nod and rolled Cat off of me and onto the bed. For a few seconds, I waited to feel some kind of hesitance about what was about to clearly transpire but nothing came. There was no more angst-riddled feelings and uncertainty that was completely against my outside character. In its place was glee and smug cockiness, as it should be. 

Cat's towel had fallen open somewhere during me rolling her over. She laid partially covered with her towel hiding her right breast and the apex of her thighs like some kind of Playboy centerfold. One smooth leg was bent upward as the redhead bit her lip and flicked a mischievous finger against an exposed pink nipple. I exchanged a look with Tori, urging her with my eyes to have the first go because this was now about Cat now; about what she had been so patiently waiting weeks for while I got my head straight about Tori. Somehow getting the gist of my gaze, Tori bent and kissed Cat's lips. She seemed hesitant to touch too much despite her own nudity and earlier make-out fest with Cat but a tan hand finally came to rest on Cat's exposed breast. It was then that it occurred to me that if what Tori had said about only ever being intimate with Andre in bed was true, then this was her first time with a girl and was likely the cause of her hesitance. 

Leaning into Tori, kissing her and being sure to make it a show for Cat whom I could hear groan softly in approval, I kissed her throat and slid my hand down her arm. Brushing my fingers across the back of her hand that was massaging Cat's breast gently, I pushed the towel out of the way and claimed the other one, pinching Cat's nipple. In response to the gasp the redhead released, Tori repeated my action, earning another gasp from Cat, and smiled like a child that had just learned how to use the remote control.

“Pretend like you're touching yourself, Vega,” I whispered in her ear. “Do what you like to do to yourself or what you've always fantasized about having done to you.”

Nodding in understanding, though a flash of surprise that I was helping her crossed Tori's face, she did as I suggested. Leaning down, she licked Cat's throat and traced a path from clavicle to jaw and up to the shell of her ear. I couldn't see well now because Tori's hair was in the way but I think she bit Cat's earlobe because the redhead let out this low whine of pleasure that I've elicited from her many times over the years. Cat's spot was definitely her ears and I had used it many, many times to drive her insane and to punish her when need be. I was tempted now to sit back and watch how Tori might follow this up but Cat glanced at me with this look that was wanton and lewd. Hard to resist a look like that.

I replaced my fingers on her nipple with my mouth and dragged my tongue roughly against the little marble. Lightly, I nibbled the very top of the nipple and smirked when Cat dug her nails into my scalp, moaning lavishly. Tori captured Cat's mouth with her own and lightly brushed her fingers between Cat's mound. I wanted so much to slide down between those familiar thighs and bury my face in Cat's heat but I kept myself at bay. Instead, I leaned back and started removing my clothes that I somehow, and ludicrously, had managed to keep on all this time. When I pulled off my shirt, I found Tori watching my movements as her fingers played lazily between Cat's thighs. During high school, we had changed clothes here and there during gym class and plays but bras rarely came off during these times. I leaned back and slowly undid the clasp of my bra and pressed my arm against my boobs as I slid off the straps of the bra.

I could be wrong, but it sort of looked like Tori came again. 

I licked my lips at the thought of tasting her again. Pleased with the reaction, I tossed my bra to the side like I hadn't done anything of interest and slid out of my jeans and panties. When I looked up, Tori's fingers were now rubbing at Cat's clit and I definitely couldn't help but think that Tori was trying to get some of her newfound sexual frustration out on the poor girl pinned partially beneath her. Not that Cat was complaining if that was the case. The redhead was rocking her hips against Tori's hand, very likely wet as hell herself, and definitely desperate to get off. Tori seemed to gather herself after a few moments and slid a finger into Cat, making her cry out and bite her lip as she looked at Tori like she had just found the Holy Grail itself. 

I laid down beside Cat and bit at her shoulder as Tori slipped another finger into the redhead and worked them in and out. Looking down, I watched Tori work, her breasts swaying with the motion of her body as she worked Cat into a gasping mess. Because of my position, Cat's hand found its way between my legs and rubbed my clit in rough circles. I hadn't been expecting it and moaned loudly, drawing a look from Tori who blushed again. Fuck, I know I've said this before, but she was so cute when she blushed. Cat, on the other hand, was looking at Tori, hips in the air as she came close to orgasmic bliss. Her hand was still rubbing my clit, but somewhat distractedly now that she was so close. To help meet her halfway, I reached down and clasped her hand from beneath and pressed her fingers against my clit in just the way I liked. I moved my hips down hard against her hand and groaned as the fire that had already become a bonfire in my loins violently flared. It didn't take much more than a few well placed grinds for me to throw my head back and come with a heavy gasp. Cat wasn't too far behind.

Collapsing back to the bed, I held Cat's hand prisoner for another moment before rolling reluctantly to the side and letting her pull it up to her mouth. I watched her for a few seconds before turning my head just enough to see Tori. She was still where she had been kneeling, but now she seemed a bit unsure what to do as she looked at her sticky hand and up at Cat and I. Rolling my eyes, I got up and pulled her hand to my mouth. My tongue slid up and down the length of each digit, even the ones that hadn't been in Cat. Tori's eyes grew heavy and she began chewing her lip as I sucked on one of her fingers as lewdly as I could manage.

So yeah, I never thought I would be sucking on Tori's fingers, much less feel this aroused and pleased while doing it. I would worry something was wrong with me, but for once, things just felt... Right. 

When I was done toying with her, I pulled her into a kiss so she could taste Cat. Surprised, Tori obviously never had tried herself or just surprised by the shift of attention from fingers to mouth, the latina licked my tongue before pulling back and chuckling. 

“I never thought I would one day be licking Cat's come out of your mouth,” she said, giggling more.

“There's a first time for everything,” I replied, a small smile playing on my lips.

“And speaking of firsts, I'd like to try a little Tori before I fall asleep,” Cat piped in, smiling at the shocked look on Tori's face.

Before Tori could speak, Cat was tackling her to the bed and kissing her hard. I leaned back and enjoyed the show, contemplating the night as Cat's hands began exploring tan flesh. When I woke up this morning, I definitely hadn't expected to find myself in this situation by the end of the night. I had made peace with my interest in Tori, though there would be still a time before I grasped onto it without it feeling as surreal as it currently felt. The most surreal part was how happy I felt. It was a happy I hadn't felt since before puberty. It was a happy only Cat could tap into, though I always denied it. 

It was nice to feel this way. 

Oh, it won't last. I'm too surly by nature to allow it to last for too long, but for tonight, as I watched Cat's clever pink tongue slide downward from Tori's navel, I would allow myself to enjoy it.

There was definitely a first time for everything.


	7. Morning After

I dreamt I was an eagle, majestic and powerful as I soared through the skies. High in the sky, I claimed everything within sight as my own. It was dusk, almost time to return to my nest for the night when I spotted the whitest rabbit I had ever seen before on the ground far below. Hunger filled my body as I launched myself down at it, claws outstretched to make a quick grab before the four-legged creature knew what hit it. As I got closer to it, I realized it wasn't just white, it was glowing, blinding me and causing me to slow the nearer I got. Just as I made up my mind to change course and head back up, away from the light, I was engulfed by white flames and exploded, forcing me to wake up with a gasp.

Weird fucking dream.

The first thing I noticed was the mouthwatering smell of bacon emanating from the open bedroom door. My stomach growled in approval but I remained where I had half sat up and stared at the tan arm draped around my naked waist. I followed it to its owner, face nuzzled into the side of the pillow I had been lying on seconds before. Tori groaned in her sleep softly, face twisting into the pillow, hand clenching my side for a second before relaxing and returning to the peaceful sleep coma she was in.

Wow, I had forgotten about that. About Tori. About last night. About... Wow.

I only forgot for a moment though.

Studying her, I felt a small rush of heat go to my face as I let my eyes appreciate the bits of Tori's body that wasn't partially hidden beneath Cat's pink and red striped comforter. Stupid, why was I blushing? I licked my lips as I pushed the comforter away from Tori's hip and thought back to last night. I hadn't expected her to be so willing, and at times Cat or I did have to coax her into things like being finger fucked by both of us at the same time, but overall, Tori had proven to be a delightful romp in the sack.

And I could still feel the heat in my face as I thought of her lips on my skin, fingers tangled in my hair or between my legs. What time had we even fallen asleep? Cat had claimed to be tired early on but she ended up being probably more energetic than either Tori or I. The clock on the wall, which I hated because it was a pink cat, claimed it was just after ten in the morning. Way too early to be up on a Sunday, especially after a night of fucking like that. Running a hand through my hair, I stretched and laid back on the bed, turning my face to look at Tori. Simply looking at her felt both surreal and nice. I wanted to kiss her mouth and have my way with her again, but I had a strict policy against morning breath kisses so I laid there and watched until I heard Cat at the bedroom doorway.

“Oh good! You're awake,” she beamed, spatula in her hand. “It'll be a little longer before breakfast is done but maybe you should start waking up Tori so she could eat with us?”

I attempted to open my mouth and tell her something snide about why did Tori having to eat breakfast with us too, but I couldn't find that familiar mean streak of sarcasm for Tori. Instead, I nodded my head and poked Tori's ribs as Cat left the room. It took two more pokes before Tori squeaked and tried to ball herself up to get away from my prodding finger. She giggled more but refused to open her eyes so I decided it was time to play dirty. Slipping my hand down past her ass, I traced her thighs inward and up until my fingers had entered her vagina. A single brown eye peeped open and stared at me in surprise but otherwise, Tori remained silent. Taking it as a sign to continue, I brought my fingers out, flicked her clit, and slipped my fingers back into her. Tori finally gasped and uncurled herself enough so she could stretch her back and survey better what I was doing. I kept expecting her to show some kind of fear or show some kind of recognition that said, _'Holy shit, what is Jade doing to me?'_ , but I got nothing of the sort. She simply closed her eyes and moaned when I began steadily thrusting into her with my fingers. 

“Look at me, Vega,” I growled low, surprised by the sound of my own voice.

Like an obedient puppy, she opened her eyes and searched my face for... Well, I have no clue. She still said nothing, only let her mouth fall open slightly and pant as my fingers curled and I aimed my thrusting toward her G-spot. I wanted so bad to devour her mouth, pin her beneath me and suck her nipples while I finger fucked her, but I did my best to show restraint. After all, this was only a fucking thing... I think. Hell, I didn't even know anymore, but something in me begged not to let this end, ever.

I pressed my body against hers as she drew close to an orgasm and I broke the eye contact long enough press my lips against her throat. Dammit, I really hated that Tori made me feel like this – so wanting, so needy, so damn emotional. Finally, Tori grasped my shoulder and closed her eyes as she came, tightening around my fingers and shuddering. Pleased with myself, I let my fingers fall away and stood up from the bed before I attempted to bury my face between her thighs and lick her clean.

“Cat's making breakfast. Get up,” I said and went to the bathroom to wash up.

When I came out, Tori was sitting up in the bed with her knees drawn up to her chin, the comforter tucked around her to keep her warm. She smiled awkwardly at me when I began pulling on some spare clothes I had in Cat's closet but didn't say a word, which was weird for her. I couldn't think of a time when Tori didn't want to talk about her feelings and about what had just happened, especially after a major event and last night certainly qualified as a major event. Instead, Tori collected what she could find of her clothing and went into the bathroom with them. I figured she was finally realizing that she didn't know what to expect to happen now that she had fulfilled Cat's proposal. I didn't know either. I had expected to feel more uncaring but my stomach was slowly pulling itself into a nervous little knot which only served to confuse me.

Cat was busy in the kitchen grabbing toast from the toaster and adding it to a small pile before toasting two more slices. I sat down at the kitchen table as the redhead placed a plate of bacon on the center of the table and went to the fridge to fetch jam and syrup for the pancakes she also had a plate of on the counter. I would be lying if I said I didn't appreciate Cat's cooking ability. I wasn't horrible in the kitchen, but I would rather get take-out over cooking for myself any day of the week, so not having to worry about either was great. By the time Tori joined us, I was halfway though my first pancake and had taken out several pieces of bacon while Cat scolded me for not waiting for Tori. Upon seeing Tori, I set my fork down and drank my coffee, suddenly not as hungry as I had been a moment ago as Cat giggled and set about serving the latina a decent amount of food on her plate. Tori only smiled politely and complimented Cat on how good everything smelled and looked. We all ate in silence for a while... Well, they ate as I sipped my coffee. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore.

“So what now?” I asked.

Cat shot me a confused look as Tori set her fork down and licked syrup off her lips. Slower, please.

Shit, I needed to stop staring.

“I guess, that's it?” Tori spoke. “I go home now and act like nothing ever happened or something? Right, Jade?”

Uncomfortable all of a sudden with being put on the spot, I sipped my coffee and shrugged. Cat, having finally caught on to what we were talking about gasped and pouted.

“But Jade, I want her to stay.”

“I don't know if...” Tori started but Cat aimed her pout at her.

“Please Tori, stay. We have so much fun together and we both like you a lot. I don't want you to go.”

“Both of you?”

I felt eyes on me and slowly set my mug down as I attempted to keep a unreadable look on my face. I know I was being stubborn but spilling the beans about my interests, especially to Tori, and especially when it was about her, was not an easy feat. Looking away, I nodded very slowly in agreement but said nothing.

“Please, Jade? Can we keep her?” Cat plead pitifully. 

“She's not a puppy, Cat. It's up to her,” I finally said in annoyance.

It took me a second to realize what I had just said and decided it was best to act like I hadn't heard it myself, but I could feel the air of surprise that quickly followed. Staring intently into my coffee, I knew Cat and Tori were staring at me, and maybe even smiling. Cat's hand slipped over mine, pulling it away from the coffee mug and placing a small kiss on my palm. Daring to loo up was probably a mistake. There was so much glee in Cat's expression that I thought I would suffocate in it. It took me a moment more before I dared to meet Tori's eyes across the table, only to find a gentle joy there.

“If you insist you want to have me as a... girlfriend? If that's possible? Then I'm more than happily to oblige,” Tori smiled.

“Yay!” Cat exclaimed, rising to hug and kiss Tori.

They then exchanged a glance and smiled before moving around the table and hugging me too. I couldn't help but smile myself, but only a little bit.

“All right, but you're cleaning up after her, Cat,” I said with a playful smirk that earned me giggles.

Afterward, we finished breakfast and helped Cat clean up the kitchen. Slowly, I realized the implications of what was to unfurl. With Tori as a third to mine and Cat's already unusual relationship, I figured things would be a bit tricky, especially with Tori and I bound to butt heads over something eventually, but... 

Meh, I suppose it could work.


End file.
